Something I’ve picked up after years in tech – almost every conflict comes down to people not being on the same page. Not because anyone’s being difficult, but because we’re all working with different information. The solution? Become the teacher in the room. Take command of making sure everyone is on the same page and working with the same information.
I used to think sharing knowledge was just about being helpful. But I’ve watched too many projects implode because someone assumed everyone else knew what they knew. It’s like we’re all playing the same game but with different rulebooks.
Here’s what finally clicked for me: tension usually boils down to two things – mismatched expectations or knowledge gaps. When your developer is thinking one thing, your client is thinking another, and you’re somewhere in the middle wondering why everything’s on fire, that’s not a communication problem. That’s a teaching opportunity.
If I look at any project that derailed, I can see this lesson being presented time and time again. Instead of pointing fingers, I started doing something radical – I became the classroom teacher. Spent hours making sure every single person understood not just their part, but how it all fit together. And yes, sometimes that meant explaining the same concept five different ways until it clicked. We all learn differently. We all have different perspectives and priorities. Knowing this ahead of time paves a road for you to clarify, clarify, clarify.
Want to know the wild part? The more I leaned into being the teacher, the more respect I got. Not because I knew everything (trust me, I don’t), but because I was willing to make sure everyone else understood what I did know. It’s not about showing off – it’s about lifting everyone up.
But here’s the thing about being the teacher – you’ve got to check your ego at the door. Sometimes you’ll get questions that seem super basic. Answer them anyway. Sometimes you’ll have to explain something for the third time. Explain it again. Because the moment you make someone feel dumb for asking questions is the moment you’ve failed as a teacher and you can grab a front row seat to watching this relationship derail.
The payoff? Projects run smoother. People trust you more. And – this is huge – when things go sideways (because they will), people actually tell you about it instead of trying to hide it until it’s too late. Or, better yet, they feel a part of the process and co-author a solution rather than screaming and yelling.
Stop assuming everyone’s working with the same information you are. Take a breath, slow down, and make sure your team and clients actually understand what’s happening. Because at the end of the day, being the smartest person in the room means nothing if no one can understand what you’re talking about.
